Several years ago, I read that France was listed #1 in terms of quality-of-life for countries. My understanding is that this number one spot varies from year to year, but it seems that, overall, France does pretty well. So I decided I want to move to France.
Great plan, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to live in the country that boasts the highest standard of living anywhere? Plus, I've done my own research. I watched Sicko and learned that the health care is of high quality and is also universal. (Since I have these recurring fears of winding up homeless and unemployed and living under a bridge, knowing that I could be treated for my seasonal allergies and all the various injuries I would expect to occur when you combine a klutz and under-the-bridge living, is reassuring.) I also questioned my friends, Jon and Ginger, who lived in Paris for several years. Yes, the 35-hour work wee is strictly enforced. Yes, they have lots and lots of leave and everyone is expected to and does - use it. Yes, people do spend the odd afternoon sipping excellent, inexpensive burgundy at a sidewalk cafe. Get me a plane ticket!!
Alas, France, just like America, and probably everywhere else humans actually choose to inhabit, isn't out looking for new residents. Those pesky immigration laws! So, what to do?
Obviously, one has to get a job to get a work visa and since my remedial (alright - pathetic) French will probably make this difficult, I'd better look for other options. Maybe someone would adopt me? I'm sure Jon and Ginger would have done so if I could have given them enormous sums of money but a) I don't have enormous sums of money, and b) they're now back in the States, living in New Jersey. Some help they are! What else? What other options??
Why of course! I need to marry a Frenchman! Clearly, this is the best strategy. After all, I'm single, so this should be easy, right?
As I've not actively looked to marry before I'm not sure how one goes about this. Yes, I watched Sex and the City so I'm aware that finding and marrying "the one" can be difficult and time-consuming, but I'm not looking for a soul-mate, just someone with French citizenship.
I polled my friends. There were suggestions that I go to French films, French restaurants and any events at the French Embassy to which I can be admitted. I've done enough of the first two to be pretty sure they don't work. (Also, this has caused me to wonder, why don't French women get fat.) As for events at the French Embassy, this sounds like a pretty good plan. If nothing else works, I might come back to this.
The response most of my friends gave to the "how do you find someone to marry" question, is that they basically wait for someone to knock on their front door.
Yes, these are single friends.
No, they don't date much.
Nonetheless, this plan has a lot of appeal. First, I'm terribly lazy at heart and this wouldn't require any real activity on my part. Second, while I'm waiting for him to show up, I can be working on my French. Or sleeping. So I'll be really rested and look good when he comes along. And it's not like I'm unwilling to make any effort. Au contraire! I've told many of my friends - and even some people I don't' know - that I'm looking for a Frenchman to marry. My requirements are few. He needs a good heart, a big apartment and a desire to marry an American woman and take her to France.
Okay. I've put this plan in motion. Now I'm just going to sit here and wait for the doorbell to ring.
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