Where?!? That's the response I got whenever I mentioned where I was heading on my next vacation. Apparently Ljubljana isn't yet the first place Americans think of when they contemplate a European vacation. No one seems to know where it - or even the country that houses it - Slovenia - is. No one can spell it, much less remember it, and pronouncing it twists tongues. So people just shook their heads at me (odd, how often I get that reaction, no matter the topic).
Was I right? Was I right to choose a location that most Americans have never heard of? Was I right to announce to my three traveling companions that they were about to spend their hard-earned money to follow me to a city about which they knew nothing? (Yes, they could have refused, but the way this every-other-year trip works is that I choose the location, do all the planning, and they come along, so it's not like the destination is up for discussion. They're free to make their owns plans, but then they would actually have to "plan" ... and ... they trust me.) Do they still trust me?
Let's just say that after this trip, if I told them we were headed to Outer Siberia next trip, they'd agree. Was I right? Was I right!
The first thing we noticed after disembarking the plane, bleary-eyed and exhausted though we might have been, was a drop-dead gorgeous man holding up a sign with my name on it. No, he wasn't my fairy prince, come to swoop me away to a life of luxury - he was the guy who was to take us from the airport to the hotel - but this just had to be a good sign, right?
The hotel was lovely and the entire staff was helpful, friendly, and eager to please. My sister and I shared a lower-level room with a balcony; the balcony attached to our friends' upper-level room opened to an amazing view. The perfect place to regroup each evening over a glass of wine, which, of course, we did.
We threw down our bags, set out to see a bit of the city, and immediately fell in love. Charming streets, musicians everywhere, playing instruments we'd never imagined, stunning architecture. It's easily walk-able, and even I, Ms.-Beyond-Directionally-Challenged, found it relatively easy to navigate. Everywhere we went, we found new, beautiful surprises. The triple bridges are in the middle of the city and each of them is distinctive and interesting in its own way. My favorite was the Dragon Bridge - who wouldn't love a Bridge filled with Dragon sculptures?
We ate extremely well and the wine .... The Slovenians make excellent wine which one can buy for a few dollars a glass at any of the numerous outdoor cafes overlooking the water. It turns out the hotel staff is indicative of the city at large - friendly and thoughtful. And that man at the airport? He's not alone, either. Slovenian men are beautiful! It got to the point where we almost became blase about them. Ruth would sigh, "This one isn't quite as gorgeous as the one five minutes ago." And her eyes would widen as another man came into view.
Slovenian history is as fascinating as the Slovenians themselves. They are fiercely independent, athletic and outdoorsy, yet their national hero is a poet. Yes, the statue in the middle of the city is of a poet and there is another statue, this one carved into the wall of a building directly across from his statue, of the woman he unrequitedly loved. The romantic in me melted.
So what did we say when we returned and people queried "where?!?" when told of our trip? Did we tell them that it is idyllic, a tiny land of mountains and oceans, of excellent wine and food, exquisite and considerate people? Am I crazy?? Nope. We told them it was boring, expensive, unfriendly and ugly. After all, I now plan to live there someday and I don't want it overrun with tourists!
Sunday, June 1, 2014
What Women Really Want
The other night I was talking to a friend who has been, mostly happily, married for a couple of decades now. Still, even the best spouses can be irritating and she told me that (at least in the moment) she doesn't really want to be married with all the attendant drama, she just wants someone to fuck. I thought about it a second, agreed, and added, "And someone to carry heavy objects now and then."
Is that really what I want? It has struck me lately that I am quite tired of being single. But, like my friend, I recoil at the thought of relationship drama. I loathe dating, which seems to be something of a prerequisite to finding a husband. I'm not terribly fond of all that goes into building a life together, either - the negotiating and compromising around issues, the bringing in family and friends for whom time must be made - all the details that have to be worked out to create some sort of harmony. Yet, daily, I think of how tired I am of being single.
Then it hit me. It's not really a husband I want; it is servants!! What exhausts me is having to do everything myself. If there is grocery shopping to be done, dry cleaning to be taken in, shoes to be repaired, meals to be cooked, house repairs to be made, packages to be mailed, laundry to be washed, mending to be handled, bills to be paid, weeding to be done, the only person to do it is moi. What I want is someone to share the numerous burdens of daily life. We used to call these people "wives", at least in the middle classes, but since bringing in income became de rigour across gender lines, there is no one assigned this role in most households. However, where there are two functioning adults in a household, at least this monotony can be shared.
For the two years before my sister was born, I took being an only child quite seriously and never quite learned to embrace the concept of sharing, but now - I want to share! I want to share every single detail of managing a life.
Certainly, having a house full of servants would eliminate the need for a significant other, at least the practical need, but not only can I not begin to afford servants, I can't even afford a house that would accommodate them if I had them. Which takes me right back to the idea that a spouse could come in handy.
I know; I know. I'm quite the romantic, aren't I? But be fair - I'm to TIRED to be romantic! Who can think about things like candlelit dinners and weeekend getaways when one is thinking about unloading the dishwasher in order to clear off the countertops, worrying whether one has any clean underwear, and trying to figure out how to replace the gutter pipe without falling off the porch roof?! It's not that I choose to think of the opposite sex as just useful. I'd far rather think about passionate kissing and late-night cuddling, but who has the energy?
Of course, if I did have someone with whom to share the daily burdens - the boring chores, the occasional stresses - maybe I'd be less tired and able to get back to having romantic thoughts and feelings. I wonder....
Is that really what I want? It has struck me lately that I am quite tired of being single. But, like my friend, I recoil at the thought of relationship drama. I loathe dating, which seems to be something of a prerequisite to finding a husband. I'm not terribly fond of all that goes into building a life together, either - the negotiating and compromising around issues, the bringing in family and friends for whom time must be made - all the details that have to be worked out to create some sort of harmony. Yet, daily, I think of how tired I am of being single.
Then it hit me. It's not really a husband I want; it is servants!! What exhausts me is having to do everything myself. If there is grocery shopping to be done, dry cleaning to be taken in, shoes to be repaired, meals to be cooked, house repairs to be made, packages to be mailed, laundry to be washed, mending to be handled, bills to be paid, weeding to be done, the only person to do it is moi. What I want is someone to share the numerous burdens of daily life. We used to call these people "wives", at least in the middle classes, but since bringing in income became de rigour across gender lines, there is no one assigned this role in most households. However, where there are two functioning adults in a household, at least this monotony can be shared.
For the two years before my sister was born, I took being an only child quite seriously and never quite learned to embrace the concept of sharing, but now - I want to share! I want to share every single detail of managing a life.
Certainly, having a house full of servants would eliminate the need for a significant other, at least the practical need, but not only can I not begin to afford servants, I can't even afford a house that would accommodate them if I had them. Which takes me right back to the idea that a spouse could come in handy.
I know; I know. I'm quite the romantic, aren't I? But be fair - I'm to TIRED to be romantic! Who can think about things like candlelit dinners and weeekend getaways when one is thinking about unloading the dishwasher in order to clear off the countertops, worrying whether one has any clean underwear, and trying to figure out how to replace the gutter pipe without falling off the porch roof?! It's not that I choose to think of the opposite sex as just useful. I'd far rather think about passionate kissing and late-night cuddling, but who has the energy?
Of course, if I did have someone with whom to share the daily burdens - the boring chores, the occasional stresses - maybe I'd be less tired and able to get back to having romantic thoughts and feelings. I wonder....
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