Do you ever stop and think, yep, that's my life? Usually when you figure no one else's life looks like yours? This happens to me with some frequency, both in good times and in bad. When I showed up for the first day of Senior Year in High School, eager to show off my new promise ring - and every single person to whom I extended my left hand said, "Wow!! Black nail polish!!" When I met an actual Russian count - a lovely man - and had to keep finding gentle ways to remind him to wipe his dripping nose. When I attempted skiing for the first (and only) time, and wound up doing a Lucy Ricardo routine on the rope pull. When I finally talked myself into going on a singing audition in NYC, got a call-back (!), and had to slink out of the studio because they expected me to be able to dance the Charleston. (Trust me. This was worth seeing but not for any good reason.). When an attorney in New Orleans told me that I really should become his mistress because I'd "never find a husband" (I'm pretty sure I never told him I wanted one) and because, in spite of the fact that he had a wife AND a mistress already, he "was plenty man enough to satisfy all of us". When I fell in love with a man who was, and had always been gay, and he fell in love with me. When I had a friend call me to tell me that my best friend's love life "was the talk of the East Side" ... and mine "was the talk of the West Side". When a rug salesman I've met once shows up at my door 3000 miles away to tell me that he's decided that I will move in with him (3000 miles away!) and he's hired a truck to transfer all my belongings day after tomorrow.
Well, you get the picture. Of course, it's perfectly possible that everyone's life is just like mine - but my friends tell me it isn't. And certainly, I know that many people have more interesting, exciting, adventure-filled lives than I. It's just that mine seems to be ... a bit ... quirky. Eccentric?
And periodically this is reinforced. A few months ago, I decided I needed significant electrical work done in my house so I found an electrical company that seemed highly rated and asked someone to come out and give me an estimate. An experienced, charming man showed up. And I have no clue how the conversation about electrical panels and burned-out outlets and GFCI's took this turn, but he told me he's an exotic dancer. Basically, a male stripper. My first thought wasn't, how did we get on this, or why is he telling me this, or even, let's get back to talking non-human electricity. It was, yep, this is my life.
Fast-forward a few months, I'm ready to get the work done, and I call to schedule an appointment. He calls and tells me he can't come out that day because he has to go to court (witnessed a crime), so we can either reschedule, or someone else can come out. I'm only off the one day so I say someone else will need to come out. And they do. But sure enough, half-way through the morning, he's done with court and here he is. Now I can assure you he has no interest in me. He's half my age and hates cats (I have two). But in addition to pointing out the work that is being done, making sure I have no questions, and all is done to my satisfaction, he's giving me grief for not inviting him to my holiday party last December, telling me he's going to drop off (topless) pictures of himself when he comes back to finish up some outdoor work, and reminding me that he "has [my] number". This means nothing. It's harmless, totally enjoyable flirtation. Just like every customer has with her exotic-dancer electrician. This is so my life,
