In the past few years, I lost between 60 and 80 good friends. These were people I saw almost every day, people who shared the most intimate details of their lives with me, who inspired, infuriated and entertained me. These were people I could always count on, albeit not in the usual way we count on friends. I couldn't call them up at 2:00 in the morning to cry on their shoulders, or share take-out with them in a nearby park. But they were always there for me.
When, in my peripatetic youth, I moved from city to city and state to state, they came with me. Until I became settled, I might go days or even weeks without socializing with new friends but these "old" friends were there, day after day, week after week, year after year.
When a television show is canceled, people take it hard. Fans mourned the loss of "Seinfeld", "M.A.S.H" and "Cheers". People described being bereft and at lost ends when "Sex and the City" or "Lost" ended. They had a small hole in their lives where anticipation and enjoyment of those shows used to be. Well, I more than feel their pain.
When those shows ended, they had usually had a nice run of several years. They came on once a week, not counting re-runs. When a soap opera ends, at least when mine ended, they had been on the air between 35 and 50+ years, five days a week. I began watching two of them when I was in high school which was ... let's just say a long time ago. I knew the family histories of these characters far better than I know my own. I, like so many millions of others, sobbed alongside them when loved ones died and I eagerly awaited certain weddings and reunions. When my own life was difficult, I could either escape into their worlds or at least gain perspective from them about my own. When my love life was non-existent (like now), I could live vicariously with their "Love in the Afternoon" plots.
People comment about how we spend more time with work colleagues than with our own families. Mine can be a fairly solitary occupation, so I don't spend nearly as much time with my co-workers as I'd like. And my family lives far away. I have the most wonderful "real" friends in the world but all of us are busy, involved, and actually getting together becomes a rare treat, rather than a constant. So in a way, my soap "friends" were a larger part of my life than virtually anyone else. And they are gone.
First,
Guiding Light bit the dust. It was a television institution, having been broadcast for over half a century. I knew that my loss would be difficult, so I sought to replace it with
All My Children, a show I chose because some of my favorite actors from
Guiding Light had joined the cast. Just as I was getting to know this new group of people and feel at home in their fictional city,
As The World Turns was cancelled. Another half-century-plus run ended. These were shows I'd watched with my mother during summer breaks when I was in high school. Initially, I disdained her viewing choices and sat with my nose planted firmly in a book while they aired, but a good soap has a way of pulling one in whether one chooses to be pulled or not. So by college, I was scheduling my classes around my soaps. And now both were gone. I taped various episodes, consoling myself with the thought that I could re-visit them later, but everyone knows that that's not the same. It's like watching a video of dinner with a friend, hearing all the stories you heard that night, rather than catching up on what is happening now.
But I'm an adult. At least in most ways. So I mourned and took solace in having found a "new" soap to love. And - you guessed it -
All My Children got the ax.
It never occurred to me to give up soap operas. My excuse, which has some validity, is that I'm working on a large needlepoint project and I need something to watch regularly while I sew. Something that I truly enjoy but which is so familiar to me that taking my eyes off the screen every few seconds doesn't interfere. In truth, however, I also need my "friends" - those whose screwed-up lives I can't even try to fix, much less want to - those who show me new trends in fashion and make-up, as well as what not to wear to an office! - those who will be there, wherever I am.
So once again, it was back to the drawing board in the form of
Soap Opera Digest. This time, I chose scientifically. I picked the show with the best, consistent ratings, in hopes that this one will stay with me for a while. The only problem is that I don't like it very much. Most of these characters aren't people I'd want to hang out with in real life, so why would I want to spend my reel life with them?
And yet - replacing it is problematic. There are only four soaps still on the air. (This is down from about 12-15 in their heyday.) There's the one I watch. Another focuses mostly on the mob and is filled with violence, so I'm not interested in this one. Of the remaining two, one is only a half-hour and doesn't sound all that intriguing ... but its ratings are decent. The last is an hour long, has some cast members from my former shows, and seems to have a good plot. And poor ratings. Having already chosen a show for its rating and been disappointed, the third choice seems questionable. I'd probably be happy with the fourth - until I, yet again, have to say good-bye.
I think the answer is clear. My free time will now be spent learning Spanish. American soaps keep deserting me. Let's see if the telenovelas prove to be more loyal!
