The Problem with Reading

The world is full of fascinating information.  For instance, just today, I learned that codpieces have pockets.  This came up in casual conversation.

If one goes a bit further afield in search of new tidbits – say a magazine or newspaper – one’s mind can easily be boggled.  Granted, not all information is useful.  For instance, I may never have occasion to put my new knowledge about codpieces to use.  But with a little imagination, a small blurb read somewhere could be life-changing.

Recently, I read that some Chinese entrepreneur is making tea out of panda feces.  This is reputed to be extremely healthy tea and he foresees a large market for it.  (The marketing aspect to this alone is incredible - what a challenge! -  but I’ll leave this to others.)  The tea will be expensive because, according to this article, panda feces sells for $34,000 a pound.  When I mentioned this to a friend, he was astonished, noting that pandas eat all the time and so must eliminate all the time.  Upon more reflection, we decided that even with this constant manufacturing of the product, the price must reflect the world’s scarcity of pandas.

And therein was born a plan.  I have two cats and so spend a fair amount of time scooping out litter boxes.  I can’t imagine that scooping up some panda poo would be significantly more onerous.  How long could it take?  Ten minutes, tops?  And think about it – if I scooped up and sold a mere pound a day for one month, I’d be a millionaire.  Two months of this, and my retirement fund would be set.  As a basically lazy person, this strikes me as brilliant.  Ten minutes of work once a day for a few months and then I’d never have to work again.

Obviously, this isn’t as simple as it sounds.  First, where exactly does one manage to get panda poop?  I’d happily volunteer at the zoo, but I can’t believe they’d let me leave with such a valuable commodity.  Is it possible they don’t know of this?  Would it be okay not to tell them for a few months – giving me time to settle my own financial future before letting them in on this secret to financial prosperity?

If I can’t do this at the zoo, do I have to move to China?  Do they give visas for people looking to enter the country to clean up after pandas?  And how, exactly, does one store and ship this to the entrepreneur (whom I also have to identify, locate  and contact)?

This is the problem with reading.  One short paragraph and now I’m faced with all these questions and difficulties!  And if I can’t answer/solve them, it’s back to working for a living … for a long, long time!

I’m going to go look for an article on napping.